People say that cats have 9 lives. Well, now I can tell people I have 2 lives. On October 9,2018 I had ischemic stroke while I was sleeping. And that was the same day I was given my second life.
I read that actress Sharon Stone wrote a book about The Beauty of Living Twice. But is there really beauty of living twice? She mentioned that she lost her radiance after her stroke. She did not feel beautiful anymore. And nobody in Hollywood would give her a job anymore after her stroke. Can you imagine Sharon Stone , one of the most beautiful actress feeling ugly and unwanted?
I actually applauded her for speaking out in behalf of all of us, women who feel ugly and unwanted after stroke. But the thing with me, is that I never lost my radiance because mine comes from within me. If we focus on the outside beauty, our outside appearance, then surely we can say that we lost our radiance. But for me, my radiance is my strength, my will to fight, my ability to never give up hope and have faith always. So, I never lost it because my radiance is in my spirit.
When I look at this woman, I see a strong woman. A survivor and a warrior. She might not look radiant outside but her spirit is. Yes, there were times that it was hard to look at my face in the mirror because I didn't want to see my crooked mouth and crooked face. I didn't want to see the saliva dripping down my face that I am not able to wipe off. Yes, there were times that I questioned myself if I still look pretty? If my husband still thinks I am good looking and attractive even if my face is crooked and I droll like a crazy dog all the time. It got me down sometimes but I tried to remind myself that my beauty comes from inside. That's what my mother always says when I was growing up. So, every time I had those ugly feelings I try to look at the bright side of my life. I am still here and I am alive.
So, I say there's beauty in living the second time around for me. I'm given a second chance to live. The life and death experience gave me a new perspective in life. A new vision and new purpose. It made me appreciate the simplest things I can do and taught me to be contented with the little things I have and not to take things for granted. Walking for instance was nothing for most of us .But when it's taken away from YOU, learning to take steps and walk again becomes a MIRACLE! That's what makes living twice beautiful! HAVING THE ATTITUDE OF GRATITUDE FOR EVERYTHING AND ANYTHING!
This was 7 months after my ischemic stroke when I was learning to walk with my cane. I went to my favorite Tulip Festival to see my favorite tulip farm again after my stroke. I t was my first long walk outside with my husband. I was so tired and exhausted after walking but I didn't give up because it was my favorite place to go with my family every year and I was happy that I can go and walk again and see it.
Learning how to walk again after my stroke was my biggest miracle. So I never take it for granted anymore. This was me visiting my favorite Rose Garden 8 months after my ischemic stroke. Even fatigue can't stop me from doing the thing that makes me happy.
Do the things that make you happy. This was the first time I went out shopping 10 months after my stroke. I say go out and put on make up and dress up! It was scary at first because I still have balance issues and fatigue but my family assured me that they will catch me if I fall.
Never take precious moments with love ones for granted. This was11 months after my stroke and my first trip to a big Mall with my husband. I got to say that I was scared to go to a big crowded Mall after my stroke. There's just too many negative scenarios lurking in my thoughts. The what if I'll fall, if my leg gives up on me, and more. But with my husband being there, I always feel safe so I went and seized the moment.
Living in the moment and enjoying my children and my husband while I still can. This was our family's first Christmas shopping 14 months after my stroke. Enjoying every moment because stroke is like a theft in the night. It almost got me on October 9, 2018 when I was sleeping just after celebrating my husband's birthday. Although my body is not perfect anymore, I learn to embrace my imperfection and adapt to my disabilities. To focus on what I am able and not on what I lack. To always stay positive and live life to the fullest. That's the beauty of my living twice.
You are an inspiration to one & all your achievement is far reached that all you do is fantastic don't ever give up keep xx